May 2013
photolies:
I’m probably single because I didn’t forward those chain messages when I was 10.
towritepoems:
I hope somebody told you that they love you today. But if nobody did, then I love you and I hope that’s enough to make you want to live at least another day.
I went to church with my family tonight and the...
Pastor: Now, according to a few passages in the bible, homosexuality is a sin.
Couple of older males in the audience: Amen!
Pastor: Now, wait, I'm not finished.
Pastor: You know what else the bible defines as a sin? Divorce.
-uncomfortable silence-
Pastor: There are countless passages that talk about how divorce is wrong, and that there are consequences to getting a divorce, such as the wife should be stoned.
Pastor: Yet, I witnessed a divorce just this morning. And I gotta tell you, it was heartbreaking, but I definitely didn't attempt to throw rocks at the wife, even though she was the one who filed for divorce.
Pastor: We choose to overlook the consequences of divorce because time has proven that they're inhumane and cruel.
Pastor: The bible doesn't say anything about the consequences of a homosexual lifestyle. Yet, we seem to be spearheading a campaign to ruin the lives of people we don't even know.
-the pastor shifts a few notes around-
Pastor: The bible states to love thy neighbor. That's it. There are no other rules or restrictions to that passage.
Pastor: So, we as a church family have to support equality with a smile on our face. THAT is the true Christian way.
klinklang:
despite the fact that water tastes like nothing, it’s actually really good
like
how does it manage to do that
be tasty with no taste
chefboyardeezie:
banjo-jeff:
chefboyardeezie:
when im rich the first thing im doing is getting laser hair removal on every inch of my body that isn’t my head
you’ll look pretty funny without eyebrows
im at least 3% sure that my eyebrows r on my head
Sad Isn't It?
You meet someone. You two get close. Its all great for awhile. Then someone stops trying. Talk less. Awkward conversations. The drifting. No communication whatsoever. Memories start to fade. Then that person you know becomes that person you KNEW. That’s how it usually goes, right? Sad isn’t it?
me: why does no one like me
person: i like you'
me: thanks
me: why does no one like me
snarg:
truth or dare more like preform a strange sexual act or tell me who you like
One day,
oohitsjey:
you’re gonna miss me chasing you.
you’re gonna miss my pointless texts.
you’re gonna look for someone like me.
you’re gonna look for someone who loved you exactly like I did.
I’m gonna forget everything about you.
oohitsjey:
why go to the doctor when you’re sick when you can just google your symptoms and scare the shit out of yourself
comedy-jesus:
solluxpooping:
boodlicious:
Imagine in like 1000 years when we populate other planets it will be like “Omg I met this really awesome girl on the internet but she lives on Neptune”
planet zoned
oomshi:
Don’t touch what you can’t afford aka me
